50 Ways
by GrangerDanger112
Summary: Twoshot on how to tick off Edward and Bella Cullen. FEARLESS2write wanted me to do these two while she does the rest in her story.
1. Annoying Bella Cullen

**Ok, BellaCullen12 can finally stop nagging me! Here are the 2 oneshots of her story – "Ways to tick off the Cullens" – that she wanted me to write. Here's the first!**

50 Ways to Tick off Bella Cullen

By Alice Cullen

Tell her Edward died.

Do #1 with a smile.

Tell her Renesmee ran away.

…With Jacob.

Laugh randomly when she walks into the room.

Take her shopping.

Turn her into Guinea Pig Barbie Bella.

Have Emmett push her through the wall.

Make her second wedding (who knows how many years later) more elaborate than the first by a long run.

Make her only hunt some "stinking herbivores".

Tell her that her fashion sense is getting better.

When she dresses the same way the next day, tell her that her fashion sense took a turn for the worse.

Break the silence by screaming in fury randomly at her and march upstairs, muttering something about her future.

Push her out a window.

"Accidentally" do something that would tick any other Cullen off and blame it on Bella.

Tell her that Alice(Me!) is planning another party/wedding/anniversary/birthday…

…And she has to come!

Tel her she has to pay Alice(Me!) 50 every time she screams/throws a tantrum/makes out with Edward in front of Alice(Me!) and/or the rest of the Cullens.

Have a free-for-all scream-fest when she's in the room.

Tell her that she's the only clumsy vampire ever even if she's not.

Get Jacob to keep calling her "mom".

Poke her repeatedly.

Interrupt her when she's "busy".

Threaten to poke repeatedly.

Let other people borrow her stuff without asking her.

Follow her everywhere.

Play "copy cat" with her.

Flood her cottage.

Scream FIRE!! And push her out a window.

Keep cracking "Yo Momma" jokes to everything she says.

Let Jake hold Renesmee.

Don't let him let go.

Burn her books.

Stock, restock, and stock again her closet AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN…

Make her over every hour of the day.

Break Rosalie's full length mirror and blame it on Bella.

Give her no physical contact with Edward.

Call Bella a cheater(on Edward?).

Next time Charlie comes over, he'll ask why the piano's collapsed. Giggle and say, "Oh, no reason." Let Bella glare.

Run around her at vampire speed singing "I Know a song that gets on everybody's nerves!"

Tell her the Volturi's coming again.

Tell her that Aro actually has feelings for her and that was the only reason he didn't murder her in Volterra.

Color all over her writing journal.

Make her write notes all day instead of talking.

Make her eat human food.

Make her go on a date with Mike Newton.

Get Jasper to constantly change her emotions.

Get Esme to make her clean the house.

Get Emmett to make more innuendos when Charlie's visiting.

Read her this list.


	2. Annoying Edward Cullen

**Thanks for the reviews guys! Here's part 2! : )Sorry if it's not that great, I'm tired and couldn't get any sleep. And sorry for the wait, I've had NO time.**

50 Ways to annoy Edward Cullen

By Alice Cullen

Sing in your head, preferably something very annoying.

Say or think "feathers" or "headboard" or even "Isle Esme" every time he walks by.

Get Emmett to make more innuendos even if Charlie's not around.

Get Rosalie to think only about herself.

Tell him mountain lions went extinct.

Send his "Volvie" to a crusher.

Don't let him see any of Alice's(Me!) visions.

Lock him in a room with Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley.

Or worse, lock him in a room full of fangirls.

Make him eat human food.

Tell him that he can only compliment Jacob.

…and he has to, he can't let it be an excuse not to talk to him.

Tell him Renesmee said a "naughty word!"

SOMEHOW beat him in a race.

Take him shopping.

Interrupt him when he's "busy".

Break his piano.

Keep thinking things like "I can't believe she would do that.", And "that doesn't seem like Bella.", And "I feel so bad for Edward." Let him wonder.

Break his stereo system.

Glue all of his CDs to the ceiling.

Paint his Aston Martin Vanquish purple or something wild like…pink!

Tell him the Volturi are coming again.

Force him to read fanfiction.

Force him to especially read the ones about him and Jacob, or Bella and Jacob.

Make him go down the Hannah Montana isle at Wal-Mart.

Make him sing HSM Karaoke on the Wii.

…With Emmett.

Play "copy cat" with him.

Tell him he smells like wolf.

Make him dress up for Halloween…

As a vampire…

Then make him go trick-or-treating.

Follow him around where ever he goes.

Every time he makes a snide remark about you, reply "Bite Me!"

Insult Bella.

Tell him that he can't be a vampire; he's too nice.

Buy a stuffed animal and name it Edward.

Keep thinking about stuffed Edward, things like, "Oh, Edward, I love you!" and "Oh, Edward you're so cute!" when you know he can hear you.

Keep reminding him about his resemblance to Robert Pattinson.

Make him watch the Twilight movie.**(a/n CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!I already have tickets!!!!!!!!!!!!)**

Make him go shopping with Alice(me!).

Just keep thinking about Bella when she's gone for a little while without Edward.

Force him to stop reading minds. Bella can help with this one.

Sing Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" in your head.

…But change the words to "I Kissed a Squirrel" or maybe "I Kissed a Human".

Tell him he's not as hot as people say he is. Don't be fooled, he's quite touchy on this subject.

Convince(this normally means dazzle) his teacher to give him a failing grade on his test. Watch him cry.

Make him listen to the Jonas Brothers.(Sorry JoBro fans, but it's my story!)

Ban him from his piano/stereo/iPod/anything else music.

Read him this list.


End file.
